How the Crazy-wise stories are made:

This is how the Crazy-wise are made:

1) I first make a painting – well, I just allow the brush to go for 1 minute or less. Then I find characters within the painting – outline them and give them names ( and eyes and mouths:-) I then allow a story to come forth, involving all the characters. And – it has to be short!

As my intention always is healing and waking up, that is what the stories are about. I love to see the red thread in them: I have no written 55 – and since nothing is planned, this process is a wonderful example of how the divine uses creativity and silliness to allow me to see the Love that is always there.

55 Whirling

“Aunt Alice Aunt Alice, tell us a story!”

“One upon a time there was a dervish. Oh, could he swirl! He swirled, and the entire world around him was sucked into the vortex of his dance. Lonnegan, Tod, Miss Cruikshank, Guiltbirdie, Mr.Knowitall and Spunky- there they go! And Lilac, standing in the silent center of the storm, witnessed in divine rapture.

A butterfly detached itself from the neck of Mrs.Crue and started singing: “I want a sandwich with chocolate-spread…and it’s better be now, before I’m dead” – and in the same moment, sandwiches  from breakfast-tables all over the world started to whirl around them. The Dervish slowly swirled into stillness. Spunky, Mr.Knowitall and Guiltbirdie had spun together into a strange new being! It was covered with butter, talked incessantly about different branches of cocoa-beans and the excellence of New-Guinean cocoa beans compared to Bolivian, it talked about all the poor children who never could afford chocolate at all, and then it bit Aunt Alice in the nose, spread its chocolate wings in the sun and melted.

Aunt Alice wiggled her nose, picked up another strange creature standing next to Lilac and smiled. This melted art had butterflies all over it – but they were all so sticky with chocolate that they could not fly. Tiny Tod, who before had clung to Mrs.Crue, loosened his grip, reached for a chocolate butterfly and fell backwards. He started to smile as he noticed a little propeller at his back, took off – and up up  he went -higher and higher – right into all that sunshine.

Aunt Alice smiled, sat her blueness down and treated Lilac and herself with Madeleine-cookies and ginger tea. The air was crisp, the sky was blue, what more can you possibly want?


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About “When fear comes home to Love”

(The four books presented on this blog ( see “Books”  in the right menu) are in the process of  being self-published on Create Space and Kindle, and  I will put all the color-illustrations up here for readers to see.) It looks like When Fear will be out in June-July-13

We live in a world with a rapidly growing culture of violence, abuse, crime and terror, and mental illness is increasing with alarming rapidity. The purpose of this book is to provide a way of thinking and perceiving that may end our attachment to separation, and that nourishes a deep human need of knowing how to safely relate to the mind’s darkness. It is to give the reader a deep trust in his/her own True Nature to provide the only answer to inner and outer darkness: changeless Love.

Reading this book, you may: 1) Understand how the collective mind and subconscious are ruled by archetypes of fear and control. You will learn how you can relate to these archetypes with a loving perception which transforms and reduces fear and mental/emotional illness. 2)Learn effective and creative ways to be with and relate to inner demons and traumatic memories – through creativity and play, and spiritual approaches, like Buddhism and A Course in Miracles. You will learn ways to deal with shock and dissociation from rape and abuse, and you will witness the author’s process of how to gradually wake up from the identity of tortured victim to being able to perceive oneself as the loving space who embraces all. When fear comes home to Love

► Shows examples of how the author and her students use art and play as modalities to successfully meet and transform deep pain and trauma, and teaches you to do the same ► Provides examples of communication with Love/God,

► Provides a radical view of forgiveness

► Provides numerous examples of Love’s sense of humor and synchronicities throughout a journey that frequently goes through dark landscapes

► Demonstrates that within the fiercest dragon there is a princess who asks for our help ► Builds confidence in our mind’s connection with God/our essential Nature, and our ability to choose Love over fear – even in the darkest scariest moments.

► Provides examples of spiritual lessons, and observes the red undestroyable thread of Love and meaningfulness in the web of our lives.

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Endorsments and comments about “When fear comes home to love.”

This book has been uploaded on Authonomy, a Harper and Collins’ site where writers can have their work uploaded and commented on by other writers.


Here are a few of the comments I have  received so far. First, 2 endorsements:

 “[The book] shows ways out of the dark and speaks to the power of love, creativity, and humor. Relevant to anyone interested in transforming violence and trauma into fullness of soul, and a forgiving, compassionate heart.”-Lois Einhorn, Ph.D, author of Forgiveness and Child Abuse: Do YOU Forgive. (Dr. Einhorn was honored with the 2004 Heroine of Forgiveness, Reconciliation and Peace by the World Forgiveness Alliance; an award previously given to Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr, Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela)


 “Leelah says ‘we are not the story, we are the light filled loving space the story floats in.”Leelah is this space; her writing is a precious resource for the heart and mind. The Tibetans speak  about the priceless gem, the ageless doctrines of truth; such are the gifts of the teachings found in her fine book.” Stephen and Ondrea Levine, bestselling authors of Embracing the Beloved, A Gradual Awakening, Who dies and Healing into Life and Death.


Comments from readers:

And finally, I just so love the way you express yourself – the lilting and vividly imaginative use of language. Words appear in contexts never before thought of and are instantly and startlingly perfect. It’s like Alice going through a looking glass into a totally different world and being constantly amazed and delighted (and sometimes frightened!) with what is conjured up. It is so richly compelling and very very readable. Alexandra Carr


Would love to see the illustrations that go with this book. I like the nonlinear layout because healing isn’t linear. Powerful stuff written here. A treasure trove of helpful techniques from various sources, ancient to modern, psychological to spiritual, a mix of cultures. I had to stop many times while reading to attend to more of my own stuff being cracked open and exposed for a chance at being healed.
The clear steps taken by Nina and others to get from the place of hatred of self / others and move into a place of True Forgiveness is wonderfully courageous and of great encouragement.
So many books on mental and emotional healing I have read have fallen short of a deep healing and have left me with the impression of doing just enough to make you adjust your behaviour to be socially acceptable,which is not a bad thing in and of itself it’s just that I felt there had to be more to it than that.
I don’t just want to survive I want to thrive. For me that means real personal peacefulness and for me this book takes it all the way to a non-dualistic way of perceiving that when understood and gently yet diligently practiced brings deep abiding Peace.
The no holds barred, there is no taboo subject to awful to look at nor to powerful for love to heal attitude in this book is a most awesome and exhilarating “breath of fresh air” that the subject of childhood abuse (sexual or other) has had in a long time.
I have found this book to be a great adjunct to my “A Course In Miracles” studies.
Throughout my reading of this book the encounters with darkness that looked so insurmountable and the persistence into light and healing kept bringing up this section of the “Course”(ACIM) to me again and again;
“Have faith in only this one thing, and it will be sufficient: God wills you be in Heaven, and nothing can keep you from it, or it from you. Your wildest misperceptions, your weird imaginings, your blackest nightmares all mean nothing. They will not prevail against the peace God wills for you. The Holy Spirit will restore your sanity because insanity is not the will of God.” T 13,XII,7; 1-3
Nina, You and your clients have shown me what this faith looks like in practice. Thank you all for having the “little willingness” whether you be “Course” students or not, you found your inner guidance and stuck with it.
Much gratitude for your sharing. Pam Meyer


“… Some of the things you say are… brilliant is a word that comes to mind but yet, this is not enough. Some of the things you say are absolutely true; true to the last cell of my body and the tiniest part of my mind and soul. Reading the 1/3 of the book I thought that it teemed with insight. As I read through I felt peculiarly relaxed and at ease of mind, some peace inside, even in the hardest parts of it. I made a break for a day and then at getting to chapter 20 I suddenly got it: what it teemed with was love. Love that seems to be pouring of every single sentence of your work, love that -in an amazing way- gets right to the subconscious. Your reader, whether realizes it or not, whether willingly or not, can’t escape from being affected from this massive amount of love reaching out (and aiming at) their heart. On my first (big night) reading your book (that is before I reached chapter 20), I had a dream, which although I’m not capable of explaining, I’m convinced that it was very relevant to the content of your book. I would be very happy to share it with you if you cared. “ Evangeline X.


Dear Leelah,
Your book is a most precious gift to me as a reader!
What an adventure into the dark corners of us humans – and the wonderful thing is that by you seeing the needs behind your own and other peoples painful feelings and destructive behaviors – you are actually able to set yourself free – and I as a reader join the ride by melting into a very loving and forgiving place in myself! So I actually get at taste of freedom, too – that is what I call a powerful read!!! I LOVE books that touches me deeply and in a transformative way, like your book does to me. That is actually the kind of books I am searching for – and I find them quite rare!
And another thing – even though your book covers very painful issues of abuse etc – it is sprinkled with so much humor, playfulness and curiosity, that the heaviness evaporates into something light and peaceful, filled with insights and love.
I love the way you use stories from real life – either your own or case studies from your clients – it makes it so convincing. I find it so much more interesting to read about somebody that have been struggling with existential issues in life and found a way to handle them – than books only telling me in a normative way how I “should live my life”.
I actually think that your book is a wonderful answer to the so-called “problem of evil” in the world – through your story you show in a truthful, wise and loving way that there is actually no evil person, just a lot of very destructive behavior, covering up for a person’s deepest fears! I love this way of seeing the world 🙂

On my iPhone, I write down quotes which inspire me – and I keep reading them again and again as a way of reminding me of what I value in life. And your book has been a wonderful source for such quotes – here are a few of them:
       “All addicts are pieces of God, forgetting Who they are. Look upon them with this knowing, and you look upon you.”
“In our everyday life, we experience that what we avoid doing something with, certainly does something to us, and pursue us – until we stop, turn around and bless it.”
“We are the very arena where the primal forces of life and death meet and dance – and as the Divine sparks we are, we have the freedom to play with it.”
“What determines your experience is where you place your belief.”
“What if we see perpetrators not as being evil – but as being trapped and captured by their own denial and ignorance – which breed evil.”
“When we want to bring the characters in The Sacred Tree of Horrors out of their trappedness and their deadly blind repetition, we play with it and invite it into the clear room of nonjudgmental awareness. In Expressive Arts Therapy, there are myriads of ways to play with this. And what a relief: we don’t have to figure things out with our mind – but letting it reveal itself to s and surprise us!”
“Inner demons are demons because they are hungry for something they are not getting. […] We create them by ignoring and judging our painful feelings.”  Kit M.

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